Hayfever and Hormones

A bad combination!

Today I have red piggy eyes and a runny nose but the problem is exacerbated by the tendency to tear up at the drop of a hat (or specifically the drop of a phone on one occasion). Dr James' advice for pregnant, piggy eyed, snot monsters is;

"It's not recommended to take hayfever tablets as there's a lack of evidence to know if they're safe or not, you can use eye drops and nasal spray though x" 

I'll add this to the FAQs!

He's such a good egg, every family should have a Doctor. Or two. And a Nurse for a Mummy.

Things a husband shouldn't say to his pregnant wife.....

A working list...

• "Yes dear" ...I didn't like it before and I definitely do not like it now, it signifies that he is NOT listening and will inevitably pretend you never told him whatever it was you were just saying.

• "So I was reading up on isofix and other base systems and what I've found is..." This is actually the point that we can use the words "yes dear" as this is man territory, especially if said man is an engineer. Let them compare, contrast and develop a grid analysis, just be supportive, after all this is the equivalent of us choosing the curtains and bedding and it's one of the few areas that they feel actively involved in... Or actively take over. In our case the pushchair is also in this territory (off road vehicle design degree is being put to good use... Unfortunately JCB do not do pushchairs).

• "Ohhhh hello fatty" ...I have actually used this one myself but I think it's ok amongst friends... Husbands, not so much! (Although a friend has also been banned from using the phrase milky tits!!!!!!)

• "Oh you'll probably grow some hair or get a red line appearing below your belly button soon" ...reassuring that he's reading up, not the nicest tip to impart.

• "Fancy a quick drink in the pub?" / "Beer Garden?" /"Pint?" ...I normally say yes to this after work wind down, but a Becks Blue with lime just isn't the same! 

• When emotional 1; "Think of poor abandoned kittens..."

• When emotional 2; "Think of the story about the cat in the washing machine" ...true story told by friend (same friend banned from saying milky tits) with unknown fate of cat which has been playing on my mind.

• When emotional 3; "Go on then cry" ...a childhood taunt by both brothers which never fails to make me cry.

• When emotional 4 (after being told not to look at me); "Why can't I look at you" - whilst looking at me. Tears ensued.

On the flip side...

• I got you a pasty type thing that I thought you'd like
• I've run you a bath
• I've put fresh bedding on

Are all music to my ears!

FAQs....

Frequent Annoying Questions...

Q. Where is my actual stomach now a baby has filled that space?

A. This one involved a text to my brother and a request for a 'drawing of all organs in relation to the uterus/baby'... Fortunately before he got the wax crayons out I'd found an image, not a great one but enough to confirm my suspicions that my stomach wasn't enjoying as much expansion room as before! It's also far better than my brother could have drawn with his stick man skills!!

Q. How many times per day does an average pregnant woman wee (and a non-pregnant one)?

A. I can't find answer to this... I think it's double the amount, however this fact worries me; As your pregnancy progresses and your baby grows, your body will produce more urine but your bladder will shrink. Even when your bladder is empty, the pressure on it can make it feel full. 
http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a237/frequent-urination-in-pregnancy#ixzz2XMLjsSU6
I have a teacup bladder as it is! I think it's a family thing... My little brother thinks his holds the maximum of a coke can amount...

Q. Can pregnant women ride bikes (following a moment of reflection after suggesting we hire bikes for the summer)?

A. The recommendation is that women who cycled previously could carry on riding a bike but should bear in mind that their centre of gravity may have altered.... For people who haven't been cycling regularly it's not a great idea to start now. For someone like me, who spent a summer cycling to work at a strawberry farm and bouncing in and out of hedges on a daily basis, it probably isn't recommended pregnant or not!!! So no bike hire for me.

Q. Do I look like Davina (whilst doing the Davina pregnancy workout)?

A. No.

Q. How do pregnant women tidy their bikini line when their bump gets too big to see what their doing?

A. I decided against launching a survey as follows;

Do you.....
a) Go for a wax (despite pain being worse in pregnancy), 
b) Shave using a mirror, 
c) Get your husband to do it (mine says no!!)
d) Sport a full bush

Paul thinks that by that point there are bigger things to worry about but most women I have 'consulted' agree that it needs consideration and you should tidy up a little and also pay attention to your feet as they'll be in the midwife's face! Good excuse for a pedicure!!

Freebies

Everybody loves them!

One of the great things about being pregnant is the freebies! Here is the list I have compiled so far;

• The Bounty Pack - the first one (Mum to Be) comes from the midwife, or you get a voucher and can then use it to pick up your bounty pack from Asda or Boots (or if you're lucky like me your lovely midwife will give you a pack AND a voucher! Bonus!) - you then get two more packs after this (Newborn & Family). They contain free samples and a couple of full size treats too, such as a Simple moisturiser - nice! http://member.bounty.com/join-the-club/sign-up-stages.asp
• Aptaclub (Aptamil) - join their baby club for vouchers, advice and a free polar bear! (Note - Polar bear is not real); https://www.aptaclub.co.uk/register
• Cow & Gate - join their baby club for vouchers, advice and a free cow! (Note - Cow is not real); https://www.cgbabyclub.co.uk/register
• Cussons - Mum & Me range, money off voucher; http://www.mumandme.com/
• Mothercare Baby & Me Club - advice and vouchers; http://www.mothercarebabyandmeclub.com/SignUp
• Boots - extra clubcard points, vouchers and a changing bag with your first nappy order; http://www.boots.com/en/Mother-Baby/Parenting-Club/
• Supermarkets  - Asda, Tesco and Sainsburys
• Amazon Family (for Amazon Prime customers, this one is the husband's personal favourite) - 20% off nappies, one day delivery and big discounts e.g. £25 off when you spend £75; http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/family/signup/welcome/ref=sv__2

Oh and of course, free prescriptions and dental care!!!!! There's never been a better time to have a filling!!

Food Glorious Food...

Pastry-gate

Everyones favourite question (aside from the obvious boy / girl question) is - Do you have any cravings?

My response; Carbs!

During the first trimester I had an intense love affair with muller-rice. I ate about 40 in a month. The relationship is still going but it's fizzling out, gone are the days of having a tantrum in Waitrose because they don't stock them. In hindsight, my response to the Asda delivery after some fool made the executive decision to substitute my order of plain for apple now seems a little irrational but at the time I was fuming... How very dare they! They should have known that my selection of 10 should have been; 2 plain, 2 strawberry, 3 custard and 3 raspberry. If I'd wanted apple I'd have ordered apple, if you didn't have plain surely stick with the safe bet and give me one of the ones I so clearly enjoy!!!!! Fortunately for Asda I was too busy that week to make a complaint!

Last week I spent three whole days thinking about pastry, sat at my desk thinking about cheese and onion pasties, lying in the bath thinking about warm sausage rolls and even swimming along thinking about pie. I ignored this for as long as possible... until I made the mistake of walking past the lovely Jaspers bakery. I did actually walk past, a whole 4 steps past, but then I back tracked and found myself in there staring through the glass counter and trying not to drool. Then my mouth opened, "Hi, please can I have a LARGE cornish pasty, a LARGE sausage roll and oh yes one of those LARGE chocolate covered flapjacks." So much pastry I said yes please to the offer of a carrier bag... this was completely unnecessary as they didn't even touch the sides of the bag, I gorged myself in the high street.

I got indigestion.

I got over my pastry craving.

This week I am mostly thinking about tiger bread, the lovely fresh Asda loaves that taste bloody amazing with a large amount of proper butter. So far I am resisting as I know I would eat the whole loaf. Asda is currently off limits.

Bumple Baths...

What?!

Owing to the frequency and length of time that I now spend having lovely bubbly baths with the bump (obviously) these are now known as bumple baths. Simples.

The bumple bath essentials;

A beautiful new blog...

So I've decided to keep a blog....

The reasons behind this are very simple;

1. I am expecting a baby which in itself is a good reason to blog but...
2. I DO NOT want to become one of those people whose every Facebook post and every tweet is a pregnancy pondering, a musing of motherhood or worst of all a daily update on potty training.
3. At 18 weeks I have already started to ask weird and wonderful questions of my (un)lucky husband, friends and family, particularly my brother and sister-in-law who have the great (mis)fortune of being Doctors - and relatively new parents themselves... Great! I treat them as human wikipedias. Perhaps this blog will give them some respite? Or not. Please feel free to ask questions that I can ask them, for both your answers and my amusement!
4. Fourth and finally.... I don't know if I am normal (I fear that I am may find that I am not) but hopefully this blog will offer some reassurance that I am... Or that there are other mad mothers to be out there as well.....